He's not a guy to scoot easily to any prison

The new man on a cellblock should never have to introduce himself like this:

"Hi, I'm Scooter."

Not "Snake." Not "Killer." Not any of those other tough-guy prison monikers that can keep a fresh con safe as he settles nervously into his new life behind bars.

But it's way too late for I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby to change his name.

His goofy boyhood nickname is all over the papers. His face is all over the TV. He's spent the past five years as a top official in the White House. And his name is now at the top of a five-count indictment in the high-publicity CIA-leak case.

Honestly, the prison-movie dialogue almost writes itself: "Wha-cha in for, Scooter? Lyin'? Well, at least you're not a covert-agent leaker. You know what we do to leakers around here."

Yikes!