Saturday, October 08, 2005

Bush's Tranformation from Obnoxious Drunk to Obnoxious Teetotaler


Bushie's renunciation of booze has gained such mythic status that many people (Republican true believers) conveniently overlook the fact that his renunciation of adult beverages was hardly a redemptive turn of fortune. All that happened was that Bush the obnoxious drunk became Bush the obnoxious teetotaler, proclaiming that his life was now in the hands of Jesus Christ, not Jim Beam...

Bush's prolonged sousitude also explains his verbal miscues, his syntactical insurgencies, his grammatical catastrophes. It's as if the bourbon marinade left deadly lacunae in his already diminutive brain, making it impossible for the most elementary thought to navigate its way through the decimated labyrinth of his frontal lobes.

Then there are the quirky smirks, the bug-eyed glares and goofy grimaces, his words and facial expressions so out of sync that you are reminded of a badly dubbed Japanese monster movie. Finally, what about all those lip gyrations when Bushie is under stress, the tiny mouth working this way and that as if it were engaged in attempting to remove the cap from a bottle? It must be the sauce.